Weekend Retreat

Hercules is a legendary character regardless of who plays him. Clint Eastwood is legendary regardless of who he plays (or directs). It is here that the connections between Don Siegel’s Escape from Alcatraz and Pietro Francisci’s Hercules Unchained end. Rather, there is not really any connection between the 1979 prison break film and the MST3K treatment of the Italian sword and sandal film made 20 years earlier.

Based on J. Campbell Bruce’s book of the same name, the story needs little explaining aside from the title. The non-fiction story ends with a degree of ambiguity as to whether or not the escape was successful. The real men’s bodies were never found. Eastwood’s athletic figure figured prominently in both his casting and his un-simulated stunt work during the escape. Most of the movie is actually the preparation for what would be a daring and exciting break for freedom.

The story itself is truly fascinating and the movie does pretty well creating the rivalry between prisoner and guard. The prisoners, despite having failed at some point, are often intelligent, talented, and observant to every potentially helpful detail. What seems ironic is that the only reason for escape is the desire to do something with all that time. Yet it is precisely that time that is needed to perfect a means to escape. The fact that Alcatraz is the most infamous prison ever makes both the need to escape and its success more captivating.

On the other hand we have muscle-bound Hercules traveling the countryside until he meets someone a little bit larger and must fight him, ultimately throwing him into the sea. This time, Hercules drinks from the Fountain of Forgetfulness and is inadvertently lives with some gaudily beautiful princess. There he is forced to live the life of leisure with his own slave boy who tries to convince him he is actually the great Hercules. Fortunately, the film fell into the hands of the MST3K guys who made it slightly more bearable. With Hercules Versus the Moon Men they did not. This film does not end with a giant sandstorm. Rather, Hercules battles tigers and mercenaries with his giant chest and puts everything back in its place. The bad English dubbing doesn’t help one understand the story yet when Hercules takes to the Octagon, who cares?

I hate to say it, but I would like to see another take on the Alcatraz escape (No, not The Rock) film. If it refrained from being an adrenaline and action driven film the potential for a very psychological preparation/outwitting/escape is certainly there. If they never made another Hercules film I could probably die just fine.